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Book of the Week -- Stuffocation

Stuffocation by James Wallman The material equivalent of the obesity epidemic. That's how author James Wallman defines Stuffocation. All the time and money we spent buying stuff, we thought we were improving life, making ourselves (our families) happier, improving the economy, thumbing our noses at terrorists. But evidence shows this isn't the case. We're more depressed, anxious, in debt, and lonely than ever. So, now what?    In his book, James takes a look at minimalism, the medium chill (as opposed to the big chill), and simple living; and then casts them all aside for the one thing they all have incommon -- experientialism. Then he spends the second half of the book defining, tearing down and then defending experientialism. I found this book to be well researched, well presented, and an easy, comprehensive read. It has certainly helped me expand and shape my thinking about minimalism and my values and goals after the  Big Declutter which defines minimal

The Struggle is Real...

.. and oh how I am struggling! How's that for an opening line? Ha! My struggle is not new. Moving from full-time employment outside the home to all the time stay-at-home mom has been the hardest thing I've ever done. It has been nearly 20 years, and I am still sorting myself out. I get bored. I get lonely. I get a lot done. I lose motivation and get nothing done. I just don't know what to do with myself! So it's been 20 years, why write about it now? I'm writing about it for a few reasons: 1) I'm sure I am not the only one with this struggle - feeling totally overwhelmed, and at loose ends at the same time. 2) I'm not happy living this way! It's not fair to myself, and it's not fair to my family. 3) I've been doing a lot of thinking and writing the last couple of days which has resulted in some self-awareness that is going to make the changes I make stick this time. What I knew about myself before is that I function better with structure

My (new and improved) Capsule Wardrobe

I've been flirting around the edges of a capsule wardrobe for a few years without ever fully embracing the entire concept of a mixy-matchy collection of clothes. The closest I've even been was last summer when I had 4 outfits I rotated through each week That same collection of 4 outfits makes up the base of my wardrobe here in Australia - 3 pr capri pants, 4 brightly colored t-shirts, and 2 long-sleeve shirts for layering over. And I've added a couple pair of jeans since it's colder here than I expected. But otherwise my collection has stayed the same - a mixture of a lot of different colors without any sense of mixy-matchy. And then.... I go to put away my freshly laundered clothes this evening, and I have a moment of inspiration as I look into my closet. What I see is that a LOT of my long-sleeve shirts are blue and white, and I have one more pair of white capri pants and a bright yellow shirt still hanging with them. Blue (which is and always has been my favorite co

Starting Out Minimally and Creating Our Home Intentionally

After much sorting, donating, disposing, and giving away of "stuff", and shipping not a whole lot, Husband and I have decided to be much more intentional and thoughtful about the things we buy as we set up our new home. We are taking the time to define the characteristics and values of our family so we can ask before each potential purchase "Does this fit with our family's values? Does this fit with who we are?" The mattresses and bedsteads were non-negotiable. We have to have a comfortable place to sleep, preferably up off the floor. And so, our for first purchases. we were able to shop together online and find a bedstead we both like. Daughter was able to choose hers too. Husband had them all set up by the time we arrived. That gets us up off the floor for sleeping, and on to the living room. Our house has two dining/living rooms, both off the kitchen, but in different directions. (It may be an Australia thing. We saw a lot of houses with 2 living/dinin

Getting Out in Our New Community

When moving to a  new community, getting involved, meeting new friends can be a challenge. I know, I lived in a suburb of Lima for 13 years without making friends, which isn't to say I didn't try, because I did try; but it just didn't happen for me, in that community. And then one day, I changed communities. Rather than the bedroom community which had no library branch, local athletic center, or other local gathering places to meetup with other community members, I turned south (8 miles) to the small town of Wapakoneta, where I quickly and easily, met and made friends through activities at the library and YMCA. Often, I would run into the same folks around town at the store, gas station, bank, etc. And these lessons of local community and connection, Husband and I applied to our move to Melbourne, Australia, population 4 million. We investigated, and intentionally looked for suburbs of Melbourne that have the features of a village -- local library, local athletic c

Back in Australia -- First Impressions

First impressions of Australia started on the airplanes. On our first leg (Chicago - LA), our seatmate said not one word to  us, and the flight attendants were efficient. No one really seemed to be happy to be there, or in the moment. On the second leg (LA - Melbourne), our seatmate was a chatty, friendly, Australian man, 35 y/o, who woks for FILAS shoes, returning to home in Melbourne from holidays in Canada with friends. He happily showed my daughter how to operate the remote for her viewing screen, and played thumnb wars and rock, paper, scissors with her. The flight attendants were all helpful (down on knees with flashlight searching for a lost sandal) and cheerful. They all seemed happy to be on the flight. Isabelle made fast friends with them all to the point she scored some QANTAS pajamas for her dad, and we were invited to see the flight deck and have a chat with the captain -- a privilege I've never had before and thoroughly enjoyed. there is no doubt in my mind we

How to Pack for an Overseas Move

Yes, it's true! We are moving BACK to Australia, and this time I have my long-term Visa in hand! But what to do with all this stuff? Right? Is it worth shipping it all? Do we donate or sell it all and start over? And when I started researching an overseas move, those were the two options that I found over and over. Ship it all for many thousands of dollars OR take what fits in the suitcases and get rid of the rest. But those options didn't fit for me. I needed, wanted, a middle ground. And that's what I've found. We are taking four suitcases (three large to be checked, and one carry-on) plus one back pack each for daughter and I, and we are shipping a mini-container full of our stuff. How did I decide on what stuff? That is a really good questions, which I agonized over for about a month. For that first month, I kept walking through the house trying to decide on what to get rid of. What had value that I could (hopefully) sell? What could I box up and donate? And it w

It's that Time of Year Again....

March, April, May always brings me into a time of self-reflection. Looking at who I am and who I want to be. Looking back and looking forward. How am I doing? Can I do better? How can I do better? This year, along with my personal goals and achievements, my marital goals and achievements, and parenting goals and achievements, I am also looking at how I am doing in facilitating Isabelle's learning as we are home schooling. Overall, it is going well, but it isn't without its challenges with the largest one being not even a home schooling issue, but one of my own personal issues and how it is playing out in the realm of home schooling. And that is sequencing. Sequencing, simply is planning. Putting a series of events into a proper sequence to achieve a desired outcome. During my stay in a mental hospital for treatment of clinical depression a year after a drunk driver collided, head-on, with the car I was driving, an IQ test was administered to me which included two sequenci

Book of the Week: Home Schooling 101

Home Schooling 101: The Essential Handbook by Mark and Christine Field Coming at choosing which methods to use as your children learn Language Arts, Math, Science, Social Studies, History, Art, Music, et al. from a Christian perspective, the authors have written a good and helpful book. Or if you're not looking for that Christian perspective, but just different techniques and curriculum which are available, it is also a helpful book. But I am going to pull 3 paragraphs out to discuss. These paragraphs resonated with me and will have a strong impact on the rest of my years home schooling and parenting. The next aspect of your child's language arts program is that of attentive listening skills. have you ever met someone who appeared to not listen when others spoke? They may have poor social skills, or maybe they never experienced the joy of being listened to as a child. Children learn to listen through conversation. They talk and you respond. You talk and they respond.

A Fun Day out at the Antiques Mall

What started out as a way for me to fill time while Isabelle was at Space Class at the Neil Armstrong Space Museum, turned into a fun day of adventures (and purchases) for the whole family. During the hour I spent at the mall by myself, I found an old-fashioned sifter which  was the only item I went in looking for. I do prefer this old style with the turning mechanism rather than the new ones with the squeezy handle, which tires out both of my hands long before I'm done sifting. This was a $7.50 win. There was also an interesting end table and a set of dishes that I took pictures of to show Kenn. But it was time to go and pick up Isabelle, which I did. We went out for a diner lunch and because she hadn't been to the Mall for a while and we had time to kill before picking up Kenn, we went back to the Mall and explored a different area. As we poked around the different stalls in the rooms, we came into a large room with an assortment of old children's toy

Book of the Week "Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling"

"Teach Your Own: The John Holt Book of Homeschooling" by John Holt This book.....  oh this book...  is just amazing. It's taking me longer than a week to read because the author says such amazing things, such profound things....  about children, about child-rearing, about learning,....  that I have to set it down and process for a bit before I can return and take in more. For example last night, in the chapter titled "Learning in the World", he shares stories submitted years ago to his newsletter by people who are experiencing learning in the world. What does that mean? We tend to presume, based on experiences, that learning only happens in classrooms under the direction of teachers, but that's just not true. And once you open up access to the world to people (little and big) who are enthusiastic about learning, have curiousity, the possibilities are endless. I feel compelled to share one of the stories with you because this, to me, is a perfect exa

Is Frugality Bad for the Economy?

IS FRUGALITY BAD FOR THE ECONOMY? This topic comes up fairly regularly in certain frugal circles I'm in, and there is a fair amount of debate about it. So  this evening when I came across this article in Amy Dacyczyn's book "The Tightwad Gazette II" I was inspired to share. I'm sort of a politics/economics junkie. Every weeknight I forgo Wheel of Fortune to tune into The MacNeil/Lehrer NewsHour on PBS. The show's format includes a panel of experts on a given topic--who sharply disagree. When the topic is the recession, typically you can see a professor of economics from Harvard Business School duke it out with some guy who won the Nobel Prize for economics. Though I'm not an "expert," one question I have been asked to comment on it "If I'm frugal, isn't that bad for the economy?" It's true that plenty of economists believe we need to get that American consumer confident and spending again. This thinking, that w

Book of the Week "The Tightwad Gazette II"

The Tightwad Gazette II by Amy Dacyczyn Amy was the Frugal Zealot who came on the scene in the early 1990s with her monthly newsletter, was interviewed for a local newspaper, and had her big break through when she appeared on the Phil Donahue show. That one appearance boosted her subscription numbers from 1700 to 40,000. By the time she closed up shop, she had published the newsletter for 6 years, had published 3 books, and wrapped it all up with The Complete Tightwad which combined all 3 books and included highlights from the last year of the newsletter. So it's all ancient history (oh that hurts to write). Why read it now? Because her ways of thinking about money, about reusing, about being frugal are gold. Sure, her references to technology are dated, and who writes letters to manufacturers anymore, but the techniques she used and shares in the books for making wise financial decisions are solid. And that's why she shared them, so we could learn to think for ourselves rathe

Project of the Week - blue shawl

Project of the Week Crocheted Blue Shawl While visiting my grandma, she invited me to take a look through her yarn collection and if there was anything that caught my eye, I was welcome to take it. And not being one to turn down that kind of an offer, I gladly browsed through probably 5 large bags of yarn to come across these beautiful blue and coordinating multi-colored yarns which I thought would be perfect for a shawl I had in mind. I'm very pleased with how it turned out. What are you working on this week? Ann

Book of the Week: "Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life"

Parenting a Free Child: An Unschooled Life Rue Kream Written in a question & answer format, Rue explores unschooling, helping many parents answer questions they may not even know they have. I found the book interesting and helpful as we travel down the road further away from traditional homeschooling. Rue's approach is more of a radical unschooling which incorporates a parenting style as well as a learning style for the child. And that is further into unschooling than I want to go. But I didn't know that until I read this book. For anyone who is considering or already home educating their children, I do recommend reading this book. Or even for anyone who just is looking for a different (better) way of relating to children. What are you reading? Ann

Book of the Week "The New! Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children"

"The New! Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children" by John Rosemond John Rosemond is an old-school parenting guru and psychologist. His book is full of advice and stories of how using his advice has played out successfully for other parents. And I'm happy to say he has helped us when we were at our wit's end. That said, I don't always agree with him, but most of the time, yes, he is spot on. I do recommend this book if you're looking for parenting advice, but only if you're committed to following through. One of the biggest mistakes we parents make is looking for the easy solution. We try a method for a day and when the results don't come right away, we give up. Or we get distracted and lose focus. I know I do. Child-rearing should be simple and it's temporary. The marriage is forever. Raise your children to be adults, and keep your marriage front and center. What are you reading?

Children and Sports

An excerpt for discussion from John Rosemond's "The New! 6-Point Plan for Raising Healthy, Happy Children."      "Organized sports would seem to be an ideal complement to the needs of this age (6 - 10 y/o), the perfect medium in which to nurture both the inner and outer self. Not so. The primary problem is adult involvement. Adults organize these programs, raise the money to fund them, and draw up the playing schedule. Adults pick the teams , coach them , referee them , decide who plays  and who doesn't, give out awards, and make up the biggest share of the audience ."      "I'm aware that children rarely play pickup games anymore. Somewhere along the line, someone (big business) got the brilliant idea that sports would be more of a meaningful learning experience for children if the games were managed by adults . The adults could see to it that rules were followed, that play was fair, that the children's skills improved through proper coachi

Book of the Week: "Wonder"

"Wonder" by R.J. Palacio A novel chosen by my book discussion that I wouldn't have picked up otherwise, didn't start out liking, but ended up being a pretty good read. It's from the young adult section and as expected, the main characters are middle school age, but the parents play an important role too. The story is of a boy who up until this point, 10 years old and heading into 5th grade, has always been homeschooled, but not for the reason you might expect. He was born with a cleft palate combined with some other genetic facial deformities which even after multiple surgeries have left him with deformed facial features. And now, Mom and Dad have decided it is time for him to enter public school since 5th grade is the beginning of middle school and all the children are changing schools. "Wonder" tells the stories of the challenges he faces, friends he has, makes, loses, and recovers. It also tells some of the stories of his sister and friends, ho

Book of the Week

"Learning all the Time" by John Holt Our public school system and mainstream culture wants us to believe that children can only learn what they are taught, by teachers, preferably in a classroom setting, but when we sit back and observe children, we can see that they are, in fact, learning all the time. They were learning long before we enrolled them in school, preschool or started teaching them at home. We don't have to teach a child to sit up, to stand, to walk, to talk, to hold a spoon. They are born as natural learners. They observe and copy. They self-teach. Our role is to model, to facilitate, to encourage (but not overly much), and to observe and do our own learning. Great book. I highly recommend it to teachers and parents, well to anyone who has anything to do with children. What are you reading? Ann