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Community and Tribes




As I am doing some reading this morning about the importance of community, being active in a community, building a community, and then tribe - building one, the importance of having one, etc, the book Isabelle has, written by Joy Wilt, called A Kid's Guide to Making Friends comes to mind.

The book talks about three types of friends: Acquaintances, Playmates, and Best friends; and how they are different from each other. It's very specific. All three types of friendships are important and serve different roles in our lives, but it's important to recognize that they are different and require different amounts of energy and maintenance. The people writing about community and tribes aren't seeing the differences and are blending the two. At least to me.

A community is a network of acquaintances, playmates, and best friends who all share a common purpose. The connections are more casual than formal and generally require a minimal amount of energy. The purpose is what keeps them connected less than their interpersonal relationships with each other.
A tribe is a close network of best friends. The connections are based on shared values, interests, and experiences. These relationships are built on emotions and are intentional, requiring energy and commitment to maintain.

Ideally, each community will contain numerous tribes within it so while the purpose of the community is maintained, the members are also feeling connected to others at a personal level.

In the trenches of home educating, having a community and a tribe to be part of are of paramount importance, both to me and to 9 yo Isabelle. We need our large community to keep us aware of events happening outside our tribe, opportunities to participate that we haven't thought of and kept track of ourselves. We need our tribe for those intimate friendships, our respective circles of besties.

Park days are with the community. BBQs are with our tribe.
Book club (at the library) is with the community. Game day (in our home) is with our tribe.

What do you think? Do you have your own community(s) and tribe(s)?



** The book I mentioned above, A Kid's Guide to Making Friends has changed my life. Regardless of your age, it is a great resource for building the skills necessary for making and keeping friends. I refer to it and recommend it often just because it is that good. 
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